THE COMPULSORY FASHION SEGMENT
Winter is coming. The high-street fashion sector is changing. Goodbye crop tops, hello jumpers…cropped jumpers. This is the time of year where every awkwardly positioned store mannequin is decked with furry earmuffs and fur hooded coats straight out of the Liam Gallagher collection. I like the shops in winter, I love the sticker snowflakes plastered across the glass, I adore the false snow dusting the panes of every window, I can’t get enough of the 1990’s Christmas CD track on repeat, and I love, I love, I love the fact that none of this is true and probably 80% of the British population agree with me.
Jeans; jeans are a solid article of clothing for winter. Comfortable, reliable thickness and warm. Ripped jeans though kind of undermine the purpose. I understand the aesthetic aspect of them complementing your outfit, or your look, or whatever, but personally, I’d rather not have permanent goose bumps across my knees as an extended accessory to my scarf and bag. I’ve done some research and magazines such as Vogue, Refinery, and Cosmopolitan are really pushing for the ‘Ripped-Jean Vibe’, the ‘moth bitten’ look. But they also wear Pro Jean shorts so I’m not sure how much I trust their advertisement.
Fashion in the colder season is a diverse spectrum in retail, a battle of practical vs. fashionable. The way to seek the best clothing is to look for something with balance between both. A party dress, for example, can be adjusted from a dangerously cold get-up to a dashingly cute ensemble. No matter how short, thin, or ‘showy’ the dress is, add some tights, warm boots, cosy jacket, and maybe a cute hat and your outfit’s gone from frostbite to the most fabulous one at the Christmas dinner table.
Speaking of Christmas slides us along to my next point of call, Christmas Jumpers. These festive-themed monstrosities which range from every colour under the sun lurk in the back of one’s wardrobe only to be drawn out from their hiding once a year, and for good reason. Children groan from behind their hands at the badly-made puns across their parent’s chest, siblings sigh at the matching horrors handed to them, and everyone detests the ‘comedian’ who sellotapes a mirror to the front of his torso because he’s “taking ugly sweater day to a new level”. It’s a whole new degree of eyesore. And yet, we all kind of love it? It’s a nationwide gathering of ugliness. Charity days are dedicated to them; there are competitions to see who can look worse than one another. It’s honestly the only item of clothing where the worse it looks the better value it actually is. The general rule of thumb with Christmas jumpers is that the longer it’s been in the family, the better the sweater. There is nothing more beautiful than generations and generations coming together to celebrate hideousness.
Very occasionally in winter Britain will face a rarity of a phenomenon called ‘snow’. The correct footwear for this is: shoes with grip, shoes that go past the ankle, and shoes with a decent lining on them. Not your old grey boat Vans with thinner material than a net curtain you spent kicking around in all summer. Something with actual endurance that won’t let pinkie toes curl up and deteriorate due to being unprotected to the cold. A pair of warm, possibly even fur-lined, shoes ensure maximum comfort, warmth, and style.
The unwritten rule for this winter’s fashion is practicality over everything else, but if you can find a complementing balance you’ve hit the jackpot. Bear in mind, cutting a hole in a blanket and parading around in it, while practical and warm, also makes you look rather senseless. Therefore a sound judgement of outdoor clothes is needed to tie in with the need for realism and sensibleness.